Perhaps I am quite in the mood to post an entry today. I promise that I would actually update more about my progression towards a possible hobby I might pick up. But hey guess what? I haven’t even started. I must admit, I am really one hell of a procrastinator. I love delaying things and I am sure it’s not even a good habit to even begin with. Well, it spells a lot about me don’t you think?
Well oh well, where should I even start? What are YOU even curious about? I would say I am even much more curious about what is going to happen in these months to come. Patience and me are not really the best of friends, when I want it, I want it right now, now,now!
At this point of time, I feel the desperate need to break this one hell of a boring routine I am in. Work has been somewhat dreadful for me and I just would love to go out there and meet people, gain a whole lot more of experiences and also , ehem, see what life has to offer me ;)
I wouldn’t say being en educator is not enjoyable but when once you lose the sparks. It’s pretty difficult to even reignite the flames.
Thus I hope I am able to set the decision for myself to move away from this same old routine and welcome 2012 with a brand new start and a happier beginning.
Since that is like 6 months from now, I would say that life has been abit quiet this year. In all honesty, I don’t find partying or really letting loose pretty much necessary. I prefer abit peace and quiet, away from all the ‘noise’ that I once wanted have so much.
Maybe from all these elucidation, I hope to achieve my inner peace. Lately my heart has been troubled ( since when has it not been) and I truly hope I will escape from all the pain immediately. Yet, it all comes with the effort to reach towards that destination. Then I procrastinate again.
I am unable to explain what is it I am really experiencing right now, perhaps all I would say it is just these series of phase that I need to experience for the new happier ones to set in. At times, I feel quite angry that He is unable to just open up his heart and let me in. But love isn’t all that.
However, I am sorry that I can’t be the one who love the person and not tell him that I do, treat him like a normal acquaintance and pretend nothing has even happened. I am not a great pretender, I have feelings after all.
It takes a lot of courage to love someone, but it also takes a whole lot of strength to even let a person go.
Best of luck,Farah Goh.
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