Lie
Noun -
1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.
“God's advice to us is to "speak the truth in love." ß Easier said than done!
Lately, I have been pondering a little too much about a particular topic; lie. Perhaps I have chanced upon or rather have witnessed people around me lie. It has come to a point that it really disturbs me and I have done a little bit of self-reflecting as well.The cold hard truth is, everybody lies. There is no doubt about that. But what kind of liar a person can be? Or what kind of liar I am or what kind of liar are you?
So I have done a little bit of ‘research’ and agree that there are four kinds of liars.
They are the;
1. Avoid Conflict liars.
2. Look Good liars.
2. Look Good liars.
3. Protective liars
3. Pathological liars
3. Pathological liars
1. I remember when I was eight years old. It was after school and my classmate told me to stay back and just ‘hang out’ together with her. I was more than glad but I needed to think of an excuse to call my mom (via the public phone) and tell her that I would be a little late for home. After minutes of procrastination and also battling hard between telling the truth or telling a lie, I called and asked my mom for permission whether I would be able to hang out in school. Her reply? “Ok Farah, just remember to use the traffic lights when you cross the road”. I let out a sigh of relieve. I thought it would be so difficult to do just that.
So when it was my friend’s turn to call her mom. She came up with an excuse that there will be a last minute remedial for our class. I just turned to her and said “You told a lie “. So she smiled and said to me. “It’s ok to lie. My mom said I can tell a white lie. Now I have two chances left to tell a white lie”. I frowned with confusion. WHITE LIE? What is a white lie? So there is white and black lie? It took her less than a minute to explain what a white lie means.
White lie - an unimportant lie (especially one told to be tactful or polite.
In general, we all tell a white lie to avoid conflict or unnecessary arguments. We are all good at that aren’t we?
EXAMPLE(S)
· Where are you ?
- “ I am at the bus stop, waiting for the bus “
TRUTH: At home still taking your own sweet time.
· You hardly hang out with us anymore ...
- “ Sorry, I’ve been busy ...” ( BUSY IS JUST AN EXCUSE , REALLY )
TRUTH: “ I don’t wish to hang out with you ! (Insert reason here)
: “I have better things to do, so hanging out with you is really optional “
· Hey let’s go out! Or are you available today?
- “I’m sorry (insert name here) I am feeling very very tired today. Because (insert 1000 word essay why this person is tired ) .
TRUTH: Caught hanging out with the other friends or with their lover. When confront they will reason like “I just got off from work/school, now I am going home “(insert hypocritical sad face)
But admit it, at times when we just have our lazy moments to attend school or work. We would delude ourselves in such a way that we would ‘fall sick’ and get the free day we want! So I guess that is a valid white lie?
2. It would be inevitable that we would meet a person or two in our lives that will fish out their pack of lies just to create the impression to others that they can’t be trampled on. So they will actually cook a pot of stories to share about their past glories or the things that they’ve done. Then others will hold them in high regards. But when the clouds drift away and the truth is otherwise, they will actually have a PLAN B and lie all over again.
Now the thing is, if you feel the need to be accepted and to be respected. Do it the honest way. Why would you have to lie to others so that people can accept you just because you would want to be in their league/clique or be good-look liars to climb up the hierarchy of work? I am sure no matter what, there will always be one person that will accept you for who you are. Even if you are a geek, you will have another geek friend to accept you. Even if you are a liar, another liar friend will accept you. See? Birds of the same feather flock together right? So don’t lie!
3. At times, we will also lie just to protect the other person’s interest at heart or not to hurt them emotionally. We just do not want to see the people we care to be hurt emotionally when we disclose to them the cold hard truth of a question they ask you.
It has always been this struggle that I guess everyone face. We become protective liars so that will be spared from the hassle of cajoling or even cheering them up because PEOPLE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Like they say, sometimes it is better not to know the truth.
4. Pathological liars can be branched out to many different types. So I am just going to talk about a generic type of pathological liar.
Habitual Liar
Habitual pathological lying is, as the name suggest, habitual. Habitual liar lies so frequently, that it becomes a habit, as a result, he/she puts very little effort in giving a thought about what the output is going to be, nor does he/she care much to process whether it’s a lie or not, it’s simply a reflex & very often can be completely unnecessary or even opposite to his/her own needs. If he/she stops & thinks about it, he/she knows clearly it’s a lie.
Habitual liars lie for a variety of reasons, which include, but are not limited to:
· Take advantage of the situation or misguide a rival
· Avoid confrontation or punishment
· Cover up lack of knowledge
· Cover up embarrassment
· To entertain oneself or others
· Reinforce self-esteem, because of failing own expectation
· Receive unearned praise or avoid disappointment or disproval
Habitual liars gives very few if any psychical or vocal signs of lying, due to the effortless nature of lying. That said, since he/she gives a very little thought to his/her lies, they are usually inconsistent & obvious.
Fear is a major contributor in developing habitual lying in a child & further advancement into adulthood, more so in conditions when the child finds truth telling results in more frequent or more severe punishment. Lack of appreciating and likelihood of unwanted consequences of telling the truth may result in frequent opting out for lying, which often involves less punishment & therefore becomes more desirable
(Source : http://depressiond.org/pathological-liar/ )
The thing about me, I love to keep giving people chances when their lies are exposed. Because to me, everybody deserve a second chance that they can be a better person. But indirectly, I will build this wall of distrust to the person and keep doubting them all the time.
Men and women will deceive just to have the best of many worlds and be a pathological liar so that they can have it easy for them.
Have you ever heard of KARMA?
Lately I love to doubt the people around me. I do not know whether they are telling the truth or telling a lie.
Don’t blame me when I doubt you. You only have yourself to blame.
No comments:
Post a Comment