How could she, really?

Has she been deluding herself all this while? Believing that things happened for a reason? Perhaps she is really a believer of fate. That there are things are beyond her control. She forgave herself and moved on with her life this very year. She first met a man that gave her superficial love and temporary sunshine. She believed it so much because she felt the need to prove a point that she can be happy off with some other person. It didn’t go as well as expected. She was scared out of her wits whether she could really go on without him. Then another soul came along, who was so good to be true. That soul made her believe that she is worth everything but yet again, it was all momentary.

In the midst of moving on again, that man whom she thought was her MR.PERFECT came along and listened to what she has to say. She said “ All I want is a second lease of hope with you” but he rejected and encouraged her to find a better HIM and a better source of happiness.

Not too long ago, she was given the opportunity again to meet MR.PERFECT face to face. It seems that he was kind enough to listen to her speak and when she uttered the words, “ I love you so much” he replied wryly saying “ I know, I can see that” . There weren’t sparkles in his eyes, just a weary him on his very birthday.

Things seem to be fuzzy for her now right now. She tries and tries to fit all the puzzles that are being left unsaid. She kept on saying with much confidence to the friends around her  that at the end of the day, it would just  be MR.PERFECT and Her.

However, as time passes by, the more she looked at him, the more she is assured as to why things just had to happen. She told him that they would individually have their feelings emotionally attached to somebody else in the time to come. But one thing is for sure ; at the end of the day, somehow, somewhere, in this little heart of hers,he would always be the apple of her eyes.

She really hope so much that she is wrong. That what she has been telling people about her fate is just wrong. Somehow, she feels that it’s not the time yet to say GAME OVER.

How could she do this to herself?